Emotions in the Fitting Room

Today I went shopping...naturally. For those of you who know me, I go shopping when I'm happy, sad, bored, it's Thursday (or Saturday), really any reason. I was going to try to only buy clothes this year when I have reached a goal; however, I do not have that many clothes that fit right now. I know, that's hard to believe, especially if you have seen my closet! In the past month, I have been told at work that I am wearing man pants, dressed like a 60 year old lesbian and basically that my clothes don't fit, so time to buy some new clothes! I also went shopping a couple times in the last week and made some purchases, but today was different.

I went to New York and Company as I had a coat to return and they also had buy one get one free on all pants! I literally took all of the options of styles that they offer of pants into the fitting room, all in size 10. Side note: I have never wore a size 10 in my entire life, but bought a pair of pants from Banana Republic last week in a size 10 that fit (yeah!) and received lots of compliments at work. Since pants are expensive and I am losing weight, I was not willing to spend money on size 12 pants. I had grabbed one size 8 because they didn't have that style in 10, and I figured why the heck not? It's not like I haven't tried on pants that haven't fit before! When it came to try those pants on, I was skeptical...but pulled them up, and was able to button them! WHAT IS GOING ON?? I didn't do a happy dance that I normally do when a smaller size fits in the fitting room, instead I cried. Ok, we are not talking like all out balling, pretty sure no one in the other rooms knew that there were tears streaming down my face. I realized that these were not just tears of joys, but of accomplishment, frustration for how far I had let myself go, and a glimpse into the future.

I wondered how many other women have had this experience, cried in the fitting rooms, then it struck me that in summer 2011, I came so close to crying in the fitting room but because nothing fit and I was wearing the biggest (size 18) clothes I had ever worn. I was shopping for a suit for a job interview as the suit I had no longer fit and I remember being so frustrated that nothing fit, nothing looked right, and I couldn't find anything that was cute. I did purchase a suit, and I wish I can say that that was the day that I changed my life, but it wasn't, not for months later. I am glad that I had this experience today and not because I own a size 8 pants now, but because of all of the other emotions it stirred in me. Who knew that going into a fitting room could stir up such emotions in a person?