Snickers Satisfies?

I had an extremely frustrating day today...alright that's an exaggeration. I actually had a productive and overall good day, but I let the actions of another person ruin my mood. So when I was out shopping buying household items, I caved and bought a snickers bar. I thought that it would make my mood better, it even says on the wrapper snickers satisfies. What exactly is it suppose to satisfy? Because it didn't put me in a better mood nor did it fill me up. To be honest, it didn't even taste that great.

It was just another reminder that I need to re-focus and center my actions on God. I have been struggling the past couple of weeks with food choices and my friend reminded me that I need to re-focus and I know that if I focus on God, I do so much better. Not only in eating, but in all aspects of my life. She is not a Christian, and can see a difference in me when I have Jesus at the center of my life.

It's so easy for me to forget this and just do my own thing. Funny how the sermons lately have been about God having a plan for my life, trusting in Him and being patient. As it turns out, those messages are very timely for me and I should remember them.



I am going on a family vacation in 5 weeks, so for the next 5 weeks I am going to commit. I am going to re-read Made to Crave, do the daily devotional every morning, track all of my food, work out 6 times a week, drink plenty of water, and spend a lot of time praying (for strength to resist temptation, and strength to get through my workouts). Most importantly, I am going to remember that Jesus is the only thing that can satisfy.  
  

"No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it." 1 Cor 10:13

Why am I blogging?

I told a couple of friends yesterday that I had started a blog, but didn't give them the blog address. So then I was asked why I'm writing a blog if I'm not going to share it with anyone....valid question. Although, they were also very understanding about why I wouldn't share it. It made me think why am I blogging? Isn't the purpose of a blog to share it with others? I guess I am not sure I have anything to say that anyone would actually want to read.
 

I'm blogging because:

• I might inspire someone. I know that it's like to be upset about your body, to make life style changes, to celebrate successes (without food), learn from mistakes and drive your friends and family nuts by talking about working out all the time. By no means do I have all the answers, but I have been there. I don't even know if I have good advice, but I understand. I am not the first person to lose weight and I won't be the last.
• I have lost around 60 pounds (I don't stand on the scale on a regular basis because it messes with me mentally). I would like to lose around 20 more, but will let my body decide what is the appropriate weight. I want to be healthy, fit and athletic. Hopefully, this blog will hold me accountable. If I share goals with the world, it will be more difficult to go back to my old habits or to fall off the wagon. Let's be real though, there will be days that I eat like crap and don't work out, the struggles will continue, but I will do this, I will reach my goal. 
• As one of my very good friends pointed out, I need to process my thoughts. It helps me to write out how I am feeling, what I am thinking, work through issues and problems, so even if no one reads my blog, it is helpful to me. 

I am not blogging because:

• I am a good writer...far from it! 
• I have all the answers or the most knowledge or best advice on nutrition or exercise. I'm just a girl on a journey to become healthy and fit, to experience life to the fullest and be proud of what my body is capable of.
• I want compliments. I am on this journey for me and my future, not so people can build me up. (Although compliments and encouragement are welcomed, it is not the purpose of this blog). 

My goal is to be honest and real when I post. I will probably put myself out there with frustrations, struggles, crazy emotional roller coasters and successes, but I also know that I am most likely not the only person that has or is experiencing what I am...so you're not alone.

Starting January 12, 2012

Well I never thought I would be a blogger, but here I am blogging, not really sure why. The obvious reason is that I am avoiding other things that need to get done (laundry, cleaning, dishes, work). But this could be fun, it's like an electronic journal that the entire world can read. :)

Here is my story:

This past year I have been on a journey with Jesus to get healthy. On January 12, 2012 I was the heaviest that I had ever been and made a decision to change my habits. It wasn't a New Years Resolution, it was the day I decided to take control of my life. I saw a nutritionist that day and committed to being on this journey. I had previously reached out to a college friend who had lost a lot of weight and who I knew was Christian to ask her what she had done. She had read the book Made to Crave, so I got that book and read it! Putting God before food, praying for strength over temptation, using my exercise time to talk to God...this was not only going to be a physical, mental but also a spiritual journey.

My theme verse for the year was "Commit your actions to the Lord and your plan will succeed." Proverbs 16:3. I had that written on my mirror. A reminder everyday that all of my actions should glorify God, whether that's the food I put in my mouth, the speed on the treadmill or how I treat another person. 

I gave up sweets, alcohol and tracked all of my food for the first three months. I continued to track my food, but started drinking again and wasn't as diligent. To be honest, I kind of took a hiatus from it during the summer, but didn't gain any weight during that time (didn't lose much either!). I try to track my food everyday and choose healthy options (but it is still a struggle everyday, some days are worse than others).

I began running and surprised myself (and probably a lot of friends) that I actually enjoyed it! I ran my first race (a 5k) with my brother and a friend and finished in the race (that was the goal!). I ran another race in April (8k) and finished under an hour, thanks to the random lady who made me run the last mile with her. I had AMAZING cheering sections at both races.

In October I started attending a bootcamp class, which in the beginning I had a love-hate relationship with. I loved it and hated it because the work outs were hard. The day after my first day, I had trouble walking, washing my hair, it hurt to laugh....everything hurt, but I went back three times a week for six weeks. I have committed to at least a year of bootcamp, but let's by honest, as long as I live in the Madison area, I'll be there. The hate has left the relationship and I love it, although there are still days that are extremely tough, I always leave in a better mood and proud of what my body can do.

Since starting on this journey, I have learned many healthy habits that will continue with me throughout my life. It seems all parts of my life have improved, physically, mentally and spiritually. There have been ups and downs, but overall I am so glad that I made a commitment to go on this journey and to become a healthier person. I could not have done it without my family and friends who have been incredibly supportive, the awesome trainers who kick my butt every time and my nutritionist. I can't wait to see what God has in store for me in this next year.

My biggest regret is that I didn't take measurements at the beginning and before starting bootcamp or an official before picture (I have a lifetime of before pictures, right?)  

January 12, 2013

Emotions in the Fitting Room

Today I went shopping...naturally. For those of you who know me, I go shopping when I'm happy, sad, bored, it's Thursday (or Saturday), really any reason. I was going to try to only buy clothes this year when I have reached a goal; however, I do not have that many clothes that fit right now. I know, that's hard to believe, especially if you have seen my closet! In the past month, I have been told at work that I am wearing man pants, dressed like a 60 year old lesbian and basically that my clothes don't fit, so time to buy some new clothes! I also went shopping a couple times in the last week and made some purchases, but today was different.

I went to New York and Company as I had a coat to return and they also had buy one get one free on all pants! I literally took all of the options of styles that they offer of pants into the fitting room, all in size 10. Side note: I have never wore a size 10 in my entire life, but bought a pair of pants from Banana Republic last week in a size 10 that fit (yeah!) and received lots of compliments at work. Since pants are expensive and I am losing weight, I was not willing to spend money on size 12 pants. I had grabbed one size 8 because they didn't have that style in 10, and I figured why the heck not? It's not like I haven't tried on pants that haven't fit before! When it came to try those pants on, I was skeptical...but pulled them up, and was able to button them! WHAT IS GOING ON?? I didn't do a happy dance that I normally do when a smaller size fits in the fitting room, instead I cried. Ok, we are not talking like all out balling, pretty sure no one in the other rooms knew that there were tears streaming down my face. I realized that these were not just tears of joys, but of accomplishment, frustration for how far I had let myself go, and a glimpse into the future.

I wondered how many other women have had this experience, cried in the fitting rooms, then it struck me that in summer 2011, I came so close to crying in the fitting room but because nothing fit and I was wearing the biggest (size 18) clothes I had ever worn. I was shopping for a suit for a job interview as the suit I had no longer fit and I remember being so frustrated that nothing fit, nothing looked right, and I couldn't find anything that was cute. I did purchase a suit, and I wish I can say that that was the day that I changed my life, but it wasn't, not for months later. I am glad that I had this experience today and not because I own a size 8 pants now, but because of all of the other emotions it stirred in me. Who knew that going into a fitting room could stir up such emotions in a person?